RELATIONSHIPS

The one thing all humans have in common is that we are either wanting to be in a relationship, we are in a relationship, or we have been in a relationship.When I say "relationship", I mean a Loving Relationship....

Love is complicated at best. It is totally different for every person. Love can be kind, it can be selfish, it can be giving, it can be hurtful....but pure love is found in many aspects of our lives. The love of a small child for his/her mother, for instance or the love that a pet has for it's owner. Loving and unconditional. 

Most love, however, is conditional....at least in some way. If we give it, we want it returned, don't we? Do you remember the pain of unrequited love? Do you remember the crush you had on a boy/girl at school who did not return your feelings and how physically ill that made you? Boy, I do! And when we "fall" in love....wow! Talk about a swirl of activity between my heart and stomach!!! The feeling was wonderful and terrible all at the same time!!! LOL

Grown-up love feels just like adolescent love but usually has the "lust" factor thrown in for good measure. Especially when we are in our 20s and 30s, boy that lust factor is really humming! 

I have been "in love" 7 times in my life. Some were returned and some were not. 

When I was a kid growing up in the mountains of Montana I "fell in love" with Grover, a young Mexican boy who was like the "bad boy" of the school. He didn't know I existed. Then during the summer my family would go to Flathead Lake for two weeks and rent a cabin from a family who became close friends. They had a son that I was "in love" with...Jamie. Cute, red hair, and freckles. I think he liked me back too. 

One other summer my mom's best friend came to visit with her husband and son named Rob. I was instantly in love with him. He was cute and nice and well, as charming as a 10 year old can be. When he went home he sent me a sandstone bracelet which I kept for many years afterward. I never saw him again. 

During high school I had a boyfriend, Jim, but I wasn't "in love" with him...he was just a date for every high school event. Then in my Junior year I met and fell in love with Bradley who played trombone in the high school band. I was "really" in love with him and he actually returned my feelings! We were together until I graduated from high school and then went our separate ways.

After high school I went to my home town and worked for a year and met my best friend's cousin, Arthur. He was 11 years older than me but he was really smitten with me and I think I liked him a lot, but never really loved him. At one point he asked me to marry him and I accepted but right after that I met my first husband, Jim, and really felt love so broke it off with Arthur. 

Jim was 7 years older than me and drove a brand new car, had a wallet full of money, was a great dancer, and Japanese. I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. The best part of our union of 37 years was 4 terrific children. The rest was not so good and why I stayed with him as long as I did, I have no clue. I guess I was just raised to believe that marriage to one person was for life. Well, I'm so glad that I realized that it isn't if it's not good.

Then the love of my life came along and my whole world turned upside down! He was romantic, charming, loving, sweet, sensitive, and most of all, He loved me almost as much as I loved Him. Alan...and He had the same thoughts and feelings about life that I had, and someone I could talk with for hours on end. And to make things so much sweeter, the "lust" factor was present too. (sorry, kids, that's reality!!)

Loving someone is complicated, even at it's best, but if the love we have for someone means enough to both parties, all obstacles can be overcome and worked out.

GROW OLD ALONG WITH ME
 
Grow old along with me, The best is yet to be
When our time has come, We will be as one

Grow old, go on with me, Two branches are one tree
Face the setting sun, When the day is done

Spending our lives together, Man and the wife together
World without hurt, World without hate 

Grow old along with me, Whatever fate decrees
We'll see it thru, For our love is true

                                                                       Author: John Lennon


I wish you a day filled with love, affection, and friendship. Most of all, I wish you a life filled with Love returned.
Janie