NEW FRIENDS IN NEW PLACES

Alan and I took a drive one day into the Olympic forest (probably not the correct name) and when we got out at a specific spot these beautiful, majestic trees were there with the sunlight filtering through them. They are so beautiful and strong, whereas the trees in Alaska outside our home were thin and looked fragile to me, but I could always hear them "speaking in the breeze".

Yesterday I attended the monthly meeting of Sequim Arts of which I am a member and the newsletter editor. I joined this club shortly after we arrived in Sequim. I really joined because I wanted to be around people that I considered miles above me in talent and I wanted to rub shoulders with them to see if some of that would rub off on me. I have since found that I'm on the same level as everyone else in that my talents are different than anyone else and I am good at what I do. I'm also still learning and trying new things. This club and Sequim itself offer me classes to take to hone my skills and widen my sphere of interest. 

I have always felt that you get out of something what you put into it...so, I volunteered to be the newsletter editor the same month that I joined. If I hadn't volunteered there would have been no more newsletter as the previous person was not going to be able to do it anymore. I have loved doing it because it is desktop publishing, which is another skill I have had for a long time. I learned a new software program and since people were putting ads into the newsletter I thought it would be a good idea to charge them a nominal fee for the privilege and use the money for a fund to use for the yearly Youth Art Show. The Youth Art Show is grades 6-12 and the kids even hang the art work for their show. This year a new prize given to some worthy kids will be a 1:1 one hour class or demonstration with a local artist. I am one of those artists. On March 8th there will be a Gala and the awards will be given out. There are lots of awards and we got art from over 100 kids!! I feel so good being able to help give back to this artistic community. 

This is a metal piece (Tin, copper, glass, and baby shoes) that I purchased from an artist at our member art show. It "spoke" to me because it has 4 hearts which represent my children, Tamara, Shawn, Aaron, and Lisabeth and the baby shoes speak for themselves, don't they? They are actual baby shoes that the artist bought at a garage sale and she bronzed them and attached them to this piece. I love it and it hangs in the bedroom where I see it in the morning and in the evening.

It was so awesome walking into the meeting yesterday because a new friend came over and hugged me and said "I'm so glad you are here. Thank you so much for all you do." I had several other compliments on the newsletter too. It is nice when you start to recognize and feel connected to others when you move to a new town. If I hadn't gotten involved it wouldn't be happening. I have made a special friend who is so supportive and I of her. We are the same age and we have both lost loved ones this year so it has been especially important for both of us.

We have great neighbors too...and one called yesterday just to find out how I was feeling. No one sees me out and about much so they understand that my energy is at a minimum and that I'm still dealing with medication changes to get the seizures to stop. I'm so thankful for this loving support system and I know that as time goes by it will become stronger. It's hard to believe that we have been here almost a year!!

Thank you Sequim for taking us into your town and calling us two of your own.

Our Sequim, Washington Home

THE END OF THE HARDEST YEAR

They say that death is a natural thing. No one gets out of life alive, right? We are born, we live our lives, we don't think we'll ever get old, and no one 'really' believes they will die. Seriously, we don't, right? Some of us want to die....we get old, we get sick, we get tired of the 'good fight', we get depressed, our lives fall apart.....it's one thing and then another thing and before we know it that "other thing" becomes one too many things and we can't do it anymore. "It" is life, living, putting one foot in front of the other, blah, blah, blah. I know those feelings. I've been there. And so has my oldest son, Shawn. He took his life this year at the age of 43. 

 My youngest daughter, Lizzy, called me and asked me if I was sitting down (I was), if Alan was with me (he was), and then she told me. No sound came out of my mouth, my brain stopped working, my feelings went numb. I gradually was able to talk to her and ask her the usual questions, none of which she had any answers to. 

The hardest part started two years ago when he cut his family - brother and oldest sister and me, out of his life. We didn't (and still don't know) why. It just happened...and we weren't cut out of just his life, but his wife's life and my three grandchildren's lives. So the mourning process had really already begun in some ways. We learned things slowly about his life at the time of his death and it drew a picture of a lonely, terribly gifted man whose life was unfulfilling. He could get music so beautiful out of a violin, cello, or keyboard that would bring tears to your eyes. He could write, play, and sing the most beautiful music I've ever heard. Oh, I'm sure there are other details that I will never know about his death/life but that is to be expected in this situation. 

I was forbidden to go to the funeral by his wife and my ex-husband's wife. I could have pushed it but didn't want to make life more difficult for my grandchildren. I was still in shock anyway. I was just reuniting with my husband after a year apart trying to sell a house in Alaska and me trying to get my own health where it should be in Seattle, we were buying a house and moving from Seattle, and I was still battling chronic physical pain. I didn't have room for this emotional pain so I just "put it aside". I packed, I didn't sleep, I gave a room to a friend because she had nowhere to stay, and I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. 

That was 8 months ago and the mourning is just now becoming acute. Why does it take so long? Why can't I just do it and get over it and get on with my life? Because he was/is my oldest son. It is true when they say we aren't supposed to bury one of our children.

The chronic pain comes and goes and is not constant for which I'm so grateful. I have doctors who listen to me and work with me.  My mother and my grandmother gave me arthritis which I've had since I was 14 years old. I'm the oldest child of an alcoholic who was abusive to me. My heart quit working in 2010 but thanks to modern medicine a pacemaker keeps me right on ticking. And I have a garden variety of other ailments that most people have that are bothersome but not life-threatening. This year I got a new present: seizures. Still trying to figure this out and put it somewhere that I can deal with it. 

And through it all has stood beside me the man, who since the day I met him has made my heart skip a beat. My Alan. This man really loves me and I am blessed among women. He holds me when I am sad, he comforts me when I cry, he drives me everywhere I want to go, he helps with the housework, he takes care of the yard and the vehicles, and he love me. He may be in his 60s but he looks like that high school guy who you can't keep your eyes off of because he is so darn cute and sexy. I love the way his hair falls over his forehead. I love the way he looks in his baseball cap, like he just came off the ball field. I love the way he walks. I love watching him do "manly" things. I love his ability to make history come alive for me. I love him for allowing me to love him. I am so incredibly lucky.

We have moved to a beautiful place between the ocean and the mountains. Very little rain, bits of snow in the winter, and summer that goes on and on. This place is clean, it feels and looks clean. It is green and beautiful and filled with good people, mostly "gray hairs" (as I call older people like myself) but that's on the outside. On the inside they are good, nice, and to my surprise many of them are creative, as am I! I became involved as soon as possible. I love rubbing elbows with and talking to "real" artists. I'm pretending to be one of them but deep inside I don't really think I am a "real" artist. But they put up with me and I am making some really awesome friends. 

I get to see my oldest daughter who runs like the wind and takes chances in her life that I wish I had the courage to do when I was her age; I get to see my youngest son who is a self-taught genius with a camera and a computer and anything tech and who has a heart as big as the sky; I get to see my other family members (by marriage) who are the best anyone could ask for. I get to work from home for my oldest "son" by marriage who has become the strength in my life in so many ways. I got to see my brother and sister-in-law this year and last year which wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been in the "lower 48". BUT, I miss my youngest daughter who graduated from the University of Alaska Fairbanks with her Masters in Counseling last year and who I believe has chosen her field of work well because she is so intelligent and caring and will help so many people in her lifetime. I miss her husband, who gives me so much support when I need it the most and who knows more about building a structure than anyone I know. I miss my friends, especially one who always has her shoulder at the ready should I need it and who believes I'm a better person than I really am. I miss my grandson in Alaska who is just the cutest thing.

2013 was supposed to be a magical year for me because my lucky number is 13. OK, maybe my lucky number is 2014! I look forward to a new year and I'm sure there will be new hills to climb and new joys to share. I believe that I got my PhD in life this past couple of years...they have been the hardest and at the same time the most rewarding. 

So, Don't Let Weeds Grow Around Your Dreams....Janie

Surprising Changes

Competitions and Shows

I have settled in to Sequim, WA and it is definitely an artist's community. There is an Art Association (AA) here which I have joined and I am going to be doing their newsletter. Because I joined the AA I get notifications about the goings on here and have had the opportunity to enter in some competitions and shows.

OVER 60 COMPETITION TO APPEAR IN AN ART MAGAZINE
These are my entries:

Flowers and Pearls

Floating Blue Garden

COLORED MEDIUM COMPETITION TO APPEAR IN "THE ARTIST MAGAZINE"

My entries are:

A Rose and pearls

              

Plus the piece above entitled "Flowers and Pearls"

SHOW AND SALE AT THE PORT ANGELES LIBRARY

My entries:

Brown Earth Creature

Blue Forest Creature

Circus of Life Woodland Creature

SHOW AND SALE OF THE ART ASSOCIATION MEMBERS OF SEQUIM

My entries:

The Lady

 I'm also entering the two colored pictures above with the flowers and pearls.
















I recently participated in a 5"x7" show. Each piece sells for $20 and the money goes to the local school children for supplies. I had two entries but didn't take photos of them. They are still in the the Sequim Art Supplies store gallery and will be there until the end of this month.

I love these opportunities to share my art and to be involved in my new community. On top of those things I'm also doing three Bazaars before Christmas. The wonderful thing here is that there are opportunities to show and sell you art all year long. I've started looking into getting prints to sell so I don't lose my art when the original sells.

Here's hoping that you get to do something that you love at least once a day!
Janie

An Artist's Thoughts....

As an artist I put myself "out there" for the general public to like, appreciate, and hopefully purchase either for themselves or as a gift. Essentially I, and many others like me, create from within ourselves for others to enjoy and to find meaning in our creations to enhance their lives. Oh, yes, we do have other reasons or else our basements, garages, or attics would be full of our creations. Those reasons usually include earning money either to afford our passion for creating or to subsidize our income.

When someone purchases even the smallest item it also makes me feel like someone cares about what comes out of my brain and heart and helps me feel like what drives me and that my creative passion is worthwhile and has some value in this world.

In the years I have been doing bazaars, craft shows, and more recently the Jefferson County Fair, I have had one day where I went home with an extra $1,000 in my pocket and at least one day where I sold nothing.

Today I'm asking myself "Is it worth it"? Is it worth sitting and smiling and saying "Thank you for stopping by" for 10 hours to go home with $29 in my pocket? The answer my friends is 'blowing in the wind'. I don't know.

It is hard lugging boxes of my precious creations, setting up a booth, and eventually re-packing my boxes for the trip home and eventual storage. I get anxious before each show and so, so tired. Again, is it worth it? Today I do not think so. Oh, I'll honor the commitments I've  made for this year but after that I'll probably sell my supplies and take up reading more. I'll always draw for me but just little things that when the time comes my children can toss out. I'll take my drawings out of the frames and sell the frames and store the art in a box so it won't take up so much room.

I started this blog last night and thought I would feel differently today but I don't. I feel almost certain that today will be the same as yesterday but there is always hope, isn't there?

Janie
www.ZenArtWorks.com

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Two Weeks in My Life

Going Out of My Mind

So, we are buying a home. Every single day last week and the week before we were busy doing paperwork and then faxing it here and faxing it there. If I never fax another form, letter, or bank statement it will be too soon!!

Then came the big day. You know the one where you get a bottle of champagne, get out the special glasses, and drive the three hours to the new town of your dreams....making sure you drive by the new house that in a just a couple of hours will be YOURS!! Then you go to the title company and sign so many papers that you get cramps in your hand. Well, part of that was true....the house is still there, still has a nice yard with beautiful plants just about to bloom, and has daffodils (my Love's favorite flower) just out the back door. BUT, even though we signed all the paperwork required and even had to go back to the office to sign some more papers, by close of business on Friday the house was still not ours.

Now you might ask yourself how this could happen. And you would be right. That's exactly the question I asked myself. Well, if all the people you are depending on to do THEIR jobs actually DO their jobs then things happen as you would think they should.

BUT NO!!!

 

Some one person along the path of all that has to happen when one buys a home didn't follow through with their specific job and at 5 pm on Friday we looked at each other and shook our heads in bewilderment after my Love spent the afternoon on the phone trying to track down the money that was supposed to be wired to the Title company. It wasn't in his account. It wasn't in my account. It appeared that it wasn't at the bank and it certainly wasn't at the Title company. So where was it?

So we have been wondering all weekend if we will actually be able to let the cleaning crew in to the house on Wednesday morning, the carpet cleaners in on Thursday morning, and be able to have three trucks of household belongings delivered on Friday and the following Monday. I have already had to move these appointments once because the Title company didn't get some of the needed info in time and we had to do an extension for another week.

I'm thinking that it is cruel and unusual punishment to mess up a very important transaction on a Friday....in fact I'm thinking it should be considered criminal...LOL Well, that might be a little extreme but right now we are sitting here not sure if we should be packing or not. 

Ah, life....up one minute and down the next. That's what it is, a roller coaster with twists and turns and occasionally a person even falls off and we are stunned.....but that is for another blog.

May your Monday and mine be as we are hoping it will be or....perhaps even better,

Janie

Dream on a Moonbeam: Been a Long, Long Time....

Dream on a Moonbeam: Been a Long, Long Time....: I don't know why I get distracted about one this or another and forget about doing important things, like writing here on my blog. I was...